yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
