There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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