Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Who haven't you slept with?

(703): View more from Virginia

No one comes to mind.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.

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(315): View more from New York

He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender

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(206): View more from Washington

I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?

(732): View more from New Jersey

No, I did. It's a long story.

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(925): View more from California

Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.

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