Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Someone shattered a urinal.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
