Midget sex pt 2 tonight
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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