i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
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