Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
