i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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