My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
