there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
