we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
