i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
