I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
