no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
