Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
