its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
