Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Randomize
