Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
