i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
