Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
