Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
