I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
