guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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