I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
