JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
