i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
