Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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