So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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