So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
