PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
