I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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