if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
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