you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
