not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
