I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
