Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
