So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
