My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
