I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
