You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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