I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
