dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
