She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
