I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
