whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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