I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
