he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
