i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
