I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
