I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
